Midsummer Ice
by Dishonest Muse
Summary: sort of slow in the beginning. Bella becomes nervous about becoming a vampire and all the fellings she had for Jacob come back ten fold. she has to see him.


Midsummer Ice

Dishonest Muse

"…and in this week and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream, that we have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear…"

* * *

Charlie I'm going to be fine. Just give me the damn keys!" I was pissed, royally pissed. Does he really think that I'm going to have a wreck with my truck? That monster would take out any shiny Volvo in a second. That made me laugh.

"I will drive 15mph slower than the speed limit, I promise. Now just give me those keys." He held them in front of my face and let them drop.

"If I hear one report of a wreck or anyone sliding on the ice, I will come to the school and take your truck home myself. Do you hear me? I do still have the extra set of keys you know. This is completely against my better judgment."

I growled, am I really that unsafe? I mean I can understand not letting me walk outside because I'm such a klutz, but seriously the truck will protect me. I picked up the keys and started to walk out the door.

"Buckle your seat belt, too!" Charlie yelled after me. I couldn't help but gag. This was going to be a long day for sure. Edward was supposed to be hunting today for his "three day camping trip" and Jacob was on the reservation with Quil trying too figure out how he was going to deal with his imprinting issue. I love thinking about that, it can always make me smile. It's still so surreal that Edward is back though. It gives me chills thinking about that time. I was so small and so vulnerable. Sometimes I don't understand how I made it through that time without dying.

I guess I can owe my life to Jake, half my heart too if you want to go into specifics. I chose Edward though. I chose to spend the rest of my life, take that back I chose to spend eternity with him. As a vampire. I shivered at the thought of my impending doom. I couldn't help thinking though what my life would be like if Edward had never come back. Would I be with Jacob? Would I be putting myself in the hands of a werewolf?

Sometimes I daydream of his warmth, the smell of his earthy skin, the feel of his calloused hands holding me tight. I always felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever harm me. Why does it feel like I'm in danger with Edward? I can never be warm in his arms while I'm still human. I will never know what it feels like to be with a warm, loving man. I don't care if the man is part wolf, he's still warm, comforting, and everything I need to be happy.

Suddenly I became very nervous. Do I want to live forever with Edward? What about Jacob? I would have to sit back and watch him grow old and die. He would hate me after my change. Would he even accept me? Would I even accept me?

"Bells, Hey Bells? 'You ok?" Charlie asked in a concerned voice. He came behind me and touched my shoulders lightly. I was still standing at the table holding the keys in my hands.

"Actually Dad, I'm not feeling so well today." I said kind of worried that he would see through my bluff.

"My stomach is feeling a little bit…queasy…can I stay home today?" I was shaking at this point. He's a police officer of course he would say no, all kids should go to school even if they were sick.

"Sure Bells, you're not looking so well anyways. It's your senior year, get some rest." He patted my back with a smile and turned to go.

"Wait, Dad?" He turned worry smearing his face.

**"**Hmm? If you're going to puke do it the other way." He laughed but still looked worried.

" Can I go down on the reservation? Billy has some good herbs and remedies for my stomach. He told me to come down and get some if I ever felt the need." Not exactly a lie, I had to reassure myself. I hated lying to Charlie.

"Billy isn't home though. He went on the big trip with his friend Sam. You know Sam right?" I couldn't believe I forgot about Billy being gone. I felt busted for sure. Quick time to lie again.

"Ya, I know who Sam is, I met him last summer with Jake. But Ya, Billy said I could always come down and ask Jake or just search for them myself. He calls them miracle cures." I added a short laugh and my half smirk. I hope that did the trick.

"Ok, Ok, but once you get down there you are staying down there you hear me? I don't want you leaving until I can come get you. Actually I'm going to drive you down there myself. A sick girl who's clumsy like you shouldn't be out on them icy roads today."

"Dad seriously I can handle myself." Then a thought hit me, there was a huge ice storm coming and Charlie wouldn't dare drive through that. It would give me more time with Jake. More time to explain what is going on.

"Actually Dad, that'll be ok. Let me just go call Jake and tell him you're bringing me down there." I turned and walked swiftly away.

"What was I doing!?" I thought to myself. This is crazy, but in my heart I knew that this was what I needed to do. I needed Jacob Black in my life. I needed him to know that I still loved him. I needed to know he still loved me.


End file.
